United States of America Scoping: Peak Pumpkin Spice 🍂

Peak Pumpkin Spice 🍂

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I'll take shortest-tenured game show hosts of all time for $1,000 ... Let's get into it.

by Allison Morrow

💰 IT'S TAPER SEASON

The mood on Wall Street has turned dramatically rosier in the past few days, even as investors remain uneasy about Covid-19 and the US departure from Afghanistan.

That's largely thanks to Fed Chair Jerome Powell, who hinted on Friday at the Jackson Hole symposium (the econ nerdfest we discussed last week) that the central bank would take a cautious approach to eventually cutting back — or tapering — its pandemic-era stimulus.

The S&P 500 and Nasdaq both hit all-time highs Monday before pulling back a bit Tuesday. The Dow is not far from hitting its next record — and the 36,000 milestone.

'TAPER' TIME

The conversation about tapering will only accelerate this fall. Although it might sound somewhat academic, the results of the Fed's decision could have a huge impact on everyday people, especially those looking to buy a home or run a business.

So what is it, and why does it put investors on edge?

The short answer: Thanks to the Fed's emergency measures last year to avoid a massive financial meltdown, money is essentially free now. The central bank used a double-barrel shotgun approach to economic stimulus — it slashed interest rates to near zero and began a bond-buying program that keeps yields near rock-bottom.

If the Fed eases off the stimulus pedal, borrowing could grow more expensive, making businesses pay more, which means less profit, which means Wall Street is sad.

But high yields on bonds lead to higher mortgage rates, which is bad for consumers. And they make it more expensive for businesses to grow by taking on debt.

All of which means Jay Powell and his merry men and women have a careful choreography to execute this fall as they begin to slow down the flow of easy money.

RELATED: Progressive lawmakers, led by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, are calling on President Biden to give the Federal Reserve a sweeping makeover by replacing Jerome Powell as chairman. The White House's response: Biden will pick whomever he damn well pleases, thank you very much (paraphrasing, of course.)

⛰️ NUMBER OF THE DAY

$100,000

Jeep's new Grand Wagoneer is a chonky new SUV with a lofty price tag of more than $100,000. My colleague Peter Valdes-Dapena got test-drive recently — a real hardship beat, that one — and wrote about its off-roading capabilities (you know, the kind of fun driving that people who spend six figures on cars will probably never engage in.)

🍂 WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT

As I knock back my third tangerine LaCroix of the day, it pains me to consider that we, all of us, may have gone too far…

Like most good things, the seltzer craze started innocently enough. Think water, but make it hurt a little. Now add the essence of fruit — just the essence, no actual fruit. It should taste like something but contain nothing. It should be healthy. Refreshing.

And then someone said lol let's put booze in this and get rich. From there, we endured White Claw summers. Beer shelves became crowded with fruity malt-liquor competitors.

Anyway, I bring this up because Bud Light is releasing a pumpkin spice flavored hard seltzer, which it describes as "literally the taste of fall." I can't even be disgusted at Bud Light here — we did this. All of us. If we foolishly believed we'd hit Peak Seltzer, it's time to eat pumpkin-spice crow.

📺 'JEOPARDY!' DRAMA

It's been quite a month for Mike Richards.

Just three weeks ago, he landed the dream gig of hosting "Jeopardy!" despite scandal hanging over him related to previous workplace lawsuits and the uneasy optics of the show's EP being tapped to host. But a few days later, more scandals emerged — and by scandal I mean literal recordings of Richards disparaging women's bodies and making offensive statements about Jewish people — and he stepped down from as host.

Now, he's lost his other job: EP of both "Jeopardy!" and "Wheel of Fortune." On Tuesday, Sony, the company behind both shows, cited "internal difficulties" in announcing Richards' departure.

What an incredible journey from obscurity to fame to notoriety Richards has made in such a short time.

*cracks knuckles*

Here's the thing: It's very rare I get to say I told you so. But, like, I did. Because even without the damning recordings that reveal Richards' sexist past comments, anyone doing due diligence behind the scenes at "Jeopardy!" should have been able to anticipate the problem with his role in past workplace discrimination suits. And then even if they missed that bright red flag, the optics alone — another white male media insider taking the helm of a pop culture institution after a parade of qualified people of color and women were also auditioned — should have been enough.

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?

🥞 Pearl Milling Company's new ad campaign seeks to remind customers that used to be "Aunt Jemima" — without mentioning the racist brand.

📉 Zoom's shares fell more than 16% Tuesday despite stronger-than-expected earnings. The problem? It's not quite living up to Wall Street's hype.

⛽ Major cities in Louisiana are reporting significant gasoline shortages after Hurricane Ida.

🎮 China is barring people under age 18 from playing video games online on weekdays, and it is limiting their play to just three hours most weekends, marking a significant escalation of restrictions on the country's massive gaming industry.